Sela Locke

Wow, I like it! It seems like an interesting thing to write about, and I certainly don't think its crap or poo. I didn't notice any grammatical or spelling errors, ...

"Well, you boys can leave tomorrow morning hen i head down to town to get some supply's." Papa said to both of them. Supplies, not supply's. When, not hen, and ...

Diana seems quite flat to me. She talks kind of, blandly, and it seems like you didn't want to take the time to actually develop her. Maybe it's just me, ...

"no idea why...," You don't need the comma. ^^ I heard him laughing silently I actually laughed here, I was so confused! How can she hear someone laughing silently? Those ...

Whoa, slow down. Honestly, Nicholas is kind of... sketchy. I mean, he's only known her for about twenty minutes, and he's holding her and comforting her? It seems kind of ...

Maybe it's just me, but your dialogue seemed unbearably flat. So little punctuation bores the people who review, and when there are seven chapters hardly anyone wants to spend their ...

I think that here, your biggest problem is redundancy, and cliches. I'm sure with such good reviews it will be shaped up in no time, and you obviously have talent. ...

It was interesting, but as Heather said, you really need to develop the characters, and maybe start a little earlier. I mean, we don't even know what any of the ...

The lack of punctuation made the story quite boring, and it really was chronically clique. I'd suggest trying to make something that a lot of other people haven't already made. ...

JF certainly hit the nail on the head. However, I have a few quick things to say as well. Is there a reason you couldn't elaborate on the mission? I ...

Likeyyyyy! Claire reminds me of a lot of people mixed up, including myself. When I bug you, you always react the way Trey did. So ha! Why is the mom ...

It seemed kind of boring at the beginning, but it quickly got more interesting. I'm not sure if Trevor would agree, though. Sorry, Chern. I know it makes you sad, ...

"A young man was scrambling down the hill, and toward him, a dagger clenched in his fist. " You could cut out the 'and toward him,'. I think you have ...

"while poking at brightly burning blaze" Wouldn't that be 'a' brightly burning blaze? It really is much better than most stories I've read so far. It might be slightly clique, ...

“I went for a drink after about two hours and upon my return they had become glued together by the face. It seemed pretty permanent.” That made me laugh. ^^ ...